高阶情感描写指南：让你的读后续写“有戏”又有温度
有时候你明明把故事写完了，可一读还是“平”的——动作有、对话有，就是抓不住人？十有八九是情绪没写出来。写作不是只交代“发生了什么”，而是要让读的人感到“当时他心里是这样的”。一旦情绪进了句子，人物就活了，续写就有代入感，分数也就有了上升空间。
下面这套情绪表达库你就当“作文里的表情包”来用：想到就塞一句，比空洞的 I was sad / he was afraid 好看一百倍。最后我也给了小练习，自己就能刷。
1. 恐惧 Fear
恐惧像一只看不见的手抓住了他，他连呼吸都变得急促。
Fear gripped him like an invisible hand, and even his breathing turned uneven.
她的指尖微微发抖，眼神在黑暗中四处搜寻出口。
Her fingertips trembled slightly as her eyes searched the darkness for a way out.
那一阵刺耳的响动让他整个人僵在原地，不敢动一下。
The sudden, sharp sound froze him on the spot, not daring to move.
练习：
走进那条漆黑的走廊时，一股说不清的恐惧涌了上来。
听到有人敲窗，她的心一下子提了起来。
2. 惊讶 Surprise
她猛地抬头，脸上写满了不可思议，好像听到了天方夜谭。
She looked up in sudden astonishment, as if what she’d heard was too unreal to believe.
他睁大眼睛望着那个名字，仿佛从没想过自己会被点到。
He stared wide-eyed at the name, as though he had never expected to be called.
消息来得太突然，她张了张嘴，一时间连“哦”都说不出来。
The news came so abruptly that she opened her mouth but couldn’t utter even an “oh”.
练习：
看到礼物盒里真的有那本书，他惊讶得差点叫出来。
听到同学考上了第一志愿，她愣了好几秒才反应过来。
3. 羞愧 Shame
他把头压得很低，耳根都红了，说话的声音也细了下来。
He lowered his head, his ears burning, and his voice dropped to a small murmur.
她不敢和老师对视，心里一遍遍地埋怨自己没有做好。
She couldn’t meet the teacher’s eyes, blaming herself over and over for not doing it well.
想起刚才的态度，他的胸口一阵发烫，只觉得无地自容。
Thinking of his earlier attitude, heat rushed to his chest, and he felt utterly ashamed.
练习：
听到批评后，他悄悄把头埋进了书里。
看见别人还在努力，她忽然觉得自己很不好意思。
4. 嫉妒 Jealousy
看着对方领奖的背影，她的心像被轻轻戳了一下。
Watching the other girl walk up for the prize, she felt a small sting in her heart.
他装作若无其事地点头，可心里早已翻起了酸涩的波浪。
He nodded as if nothing happened, but inside him waves of jealousy were already rising.
她明明在笑，眼底却藏着一点说不出口的不服气。
She was smiling, yet a trace of unspoken discontent hid in her eyes.
练习：
听见他们在夸那位同学，她心里忍不住泛酸。
看到别人完成了自己想做的事，他的心里不是滋味。
5. 自豪 Pride
看到屏幕上跳出的分数，他的眼睛亮得像星星。
Seeing the score pop up on the screen, his eyes shone like stars.
她抱着奖杯走下台的那一刻，整个人都在发光。
As she walked down the stage with the trophy, she seemed to glow.
想到这是靠自己一点点做出来的，他的胸口慢慢涨满了骄傲。
Thinking it was built step by step by himself, pride slowly swelled in his chest.
练习：
父母的表扬让他整晚都笑得合不拢嘴。
看着自己的作品挂在墙上，她只觉得一切都没白忙。
6. 焦虑 Anxiety
他反复看表，明明还没到时间，心却已经乱了。
He kept checking the time, and though it wasn’t time yet, his heart was already in chaos.
她的手指不停搓纸，像是在和无形的紧张较劲。
Her fingers kept rubbing the paper, as if wrestling with invisible tension.
越接近结果公布，她的呼吸就越短促。
The closer it got to the announcement, the shorter her breaths became.
练习：
想到明天要上台，他一晚上都睡不踏实。
等待电话的那几分钟，比整场考试还要煎熬。
7. 满足 Satisfaction
他看着已经整理得整整齐齐的桌面，长长吐出一口气。
He looked at the neatly organized desk and let out a long, contented breath.
她尝了一口自己做的甜点，眼里立刻有了笑意。
She tasted the dessert she’d made, and a smile instantly rose in her eyes.
那一片晚霞映在窗上，让他觉得这一天都算圆满了。
The evening glow reflected on the window made him feel the whole day was complete.
练习：
完成清单上的最后一项后，她舒服地靠在了椅背上。
看着同学们都听懂了，他的心里说不出的踏实。
8. 失望 Disappointment
成绩一出来，他的肩膀明显垮了下去。
As soon as the result came out, his shoulders visibly dropped.
她盯着那条消息看了好久，最后默默锁了屏。
She stared at the message for a long time before quietly locking the screen.
原本提着的那点期待，像被人轻轻吹灭了。
The little hope she’d been holding was blown out like a weak flame.
练习：
没看到自己的名字时，他心里一沉。
她勉强笑了笑，但眼睛已经出卖了她的失落。
9. 遗憾 Regret
看着已经错过的报名时间，他心里像被空了一块。
Seeing the deadline already passed, he felt a hollow open in his heart.
她在心里一遍遍想：要是当时说出口就好了。
She kept thinking to herself: if only I had said it back then.
那张老照片一翻出来，所有来不及挽回的场景都回来了。
When the old photo was taken out, all the unchangeable scenes came back.
练习：
没能去参加那次比赛，他一直觉得可惜。
想起那天没去送别，她总觉得心里堵得慌。
10. 成就感 Accomplishment
他抬头看着大屏幕上的“通过”，心里像被点亮了一样。
He looked up at the “PASSED” on the screen, feeling as if a light had been switched on inside him.
她把完成的模型轻轻放下，脸上慢慢绽开笑容。
She set the finished model down gently, a smile slowly spreading across her face.
那一刻，他清楚地知道：这是靠自己做到的。
At that moment, he knew clearly it was something he had achieved on his own.
练习：
收到录取通知书时，他只想冲出去告诉所有人。
看到数据真的提升了，她觉得所有辛苦都值。
11. 绝望 Despair
他坐在楼梯口，眼神空空的，像是看不到下一步路。
He sat on the stairs, eyes empty, as if no path lay ahead.
一次次尝试都失败后，她的心像被水浸透了一样沉。
After failing again and again, her heart felt soaked and heavy.
那句话传来时，他只觉得世界一下子安静得可怕。
When the words reached him, he felt the world turn frighteningly quiet.
练习：
听到检查结果的那一瞬间，她整个人都僵住了。
他望着被雨冲刷的街道，心里一片灰白。
12. 恼怒 Irritation
他皱了皱眉，把笔重重一放，再也不想听那些废话。
He frowned and put his pen down with a thud, no longer wanting to hear the nonsense.
她本想好好说，但对方一脸敷衍让她的火气一下就上来了。
She had meant to speak calmly, but his careless expression brought her anger to the surface.
那一声又一声的敲击声，把他的耐心消耗得一干二净。
The repeated tapping drained his patience completely.
练习：
被人中途打断，她的语气明显冷了下来。
看到他依旧拖拖拉拉，她心里一下就烦了。
13. 兴奋 Excitement
她跳了两下，又努力装作镇定，好像这只是件小事。
She jumped twice and then tried to look calm, as if it were nothing.
他捧着奖杯，笑得像阳光一样开。
Holding the trophy, he smiled as brightly as the sun.
那是他等了很久的好消息，光是听到开头，心就先跳了起来。
It was the good news he’d been waiting for, and just hearing the beginning made his heart leap.
练习：
看见名单上真的有自己，她差点尖叫出来。
车刚开进学校大门，他就兴奋得贴在车窗上看。
14. 轻松 Relief
听到“没事”这两个字，他整个人像是松了绑。
Hearing the words “it’s fine”, he felt as if a rope had been loosened from him.
她长长吐了一口气，第一次觉得空气这么好闻。
She let out a long sigh, feeling the air fresher than ever.
所有的担心都在那一刻像水一样退了下去。
All her worries ebbed away like water at that moment.
练习：
知道考试不是这周，她终于安心了。
看到队友平安回来，他的心才真正落地。
15. 渴望 Longing
她托着下巴看向窗外，眼神早就飞去了远方。
She rested her chin on her hand, her gaze already drifting far away.
夜深了，他还想着要不要再努力一次。
Late at night, he still wondered whether to try once more.
那条熟悉的街名一出现，所有想回去的情绪都被勾了出来。
When the familiar street name appeared, all her longing to return was stirred up.
练习：
想到还能再见一面，她的心一下子亮了。
看到别人已经走到了前面，他也开始想追上去了。
情绪，是作文里最容易被忽视、却也是最容易拉开差距的部分。能写“发生了什么”的同学很多，能写“我当时怎么想的”的不算少，但能写“那一刻身体和情绪的真实反应”的，才是能拿到读后续写高档分的。
想把这套“情绪表达库”做成你的续写模板、课堂素材、学生仿写册？
添加小助手，回复【情绪句】，我把练习版、讲解版、续写套句版一并发你，不止老师能用，学生自己也能刷起来。
写作想要好看，先把“情绪”写出来
是不是经常这样：情节能写全、人也写了、对话也有，但整篇就是——不打动人？
不是你不会写，是你写的都是“发生了什么”，而不是“我当时怎么感觉的”。阅卷老师真正想看的，是人在情境里的反应——害怕会怎么样、惊讶会怎么样、骄傲会怎么样。只要把这一层写活，读后续写的分就能往上爬。
下面这套就是给你用的【情绪表达替换库】，场景都是考试里能遇到的，直接往作文里塞就行。
1. 恐惧 Fear
恐惧一下子攥住了他的心，他连走路的力气都差点没了。
Fear clenched his heart, and he almost lost the strength to move.
她的目光在黑暗里乱转，拼命想找一个安全的地方。
Her eyes darted around in the darkness, desperately searching for a safe spot.
那声突如其来的响动，让他整个人像被定在原地。
The sudden sound pinned him to the spot.
练练：
走到教室门口时，他忽然有点不敢进去。
听见身后有脚步声，她的背一下子紧了起来。
2. 惊讶 Surprise
她愣了两秒，才反应过来那真的是在叫她的名字。
She froze for two seconds before realizing it was really her name.
他瞪大了眼，好像这个结果完全不在他的剧本里。
He stared wide-eyed, as if this result wasn’t in his script at all.
消息来得太快，她一时间连“真的吗”都说不出口。
The news came so fast that she couldn’t even say “really?”
练练：
看到分数那一刻，他差点叫出声。
发现朋友突然回国，她整个人都惊到了。
3. 羞愧 Shame
他低下头，用力抓着书包带，恨不得自己能消失。
He lowered his head, clutching his bag strap, wishing he could disappear.
她的脸一下子红了，谁都不敢看。
Her face flushed at once, and she couldn’t look at anyone.
想到刚才说的话，他只觉得脸上烫得厉害。
Thinking of what he’d just said, his face burned.
练练：
听到老师点出他的错误，他小声说了句“对不起”。
看见同桌还在认真写，她有点不好意思。
4. 嫉妒 Jealousy
看见别人的名字被写在表扬栏里，她的心轻轻一酸。
Seeing someone else’s name on the honor board, her heart gave a little twist.
他笑着说“挺好的啊”，可心里并不平静。
He smiled and said “that’s great”, but his heart wasn’t calm.
她装作不在意，可心里在想：要是那个人是我就好了。
She pretended not to care, but deep down she thought: I wish it were me.
练练：
听到别人被推荐去比赛，他的心里不是滋味。
看着同学拿到了她想要的位置，她有点酸。
5. 自豪 Pride
看到作品真的被选上了，他的嘴角怎么都压不住。
Seeing his work really selected, he couldn’t stop the smile on his face.
她抱着奖杯下台，觉得这一路的委屈都值了。
She walked off the stage with the trophy, feeling every hardship was worth it.
他抬头看向家人，眼神里都是“我做到了”。
He looked up at his family, his eyes saying “I did it.”
练练：
听到掌声那一刻，他第一次那么喜欢现在的自己。
看见老师点名表扬，她差点笑出声来。
6. 焦虑 Anxiety
他不停看手机，明明没新消息。
He kept checking his phone though there was no new message.
她的手指拧住衣角，怎么也放不开。
Her fingers twisted her shirt hem and wouldn’t let go.
越接近比赛时间，她越坐不住。
The closer it got to the contest, the harder it was for her to sit still.
练练：
想到明天要发成绩，他一晚上都睡不踏实。
面试前五分钟，她的手心全是汗。
7. 失望 Disappointment
成绩一出来，他的心像被突然放空了一样。
When the score came out, his heart felt suddenly empty.
她盯着那行字看了好久，最后只是轻轻叹了口气。
She stared at the line for a long time before letting out a soft sigh.
那一点小小的期待，就这么悄悄掉下去了。
That little bit of hope just slipped away quietly.
练练：
没看到自己的名字，她的肩膀慢慢垮了下来。
听说名额已经满了，他再也没说话。
8. 轻松 Relief
听到“没事了”三个字，他的心一下子落了地。
Hearing “it’s okay now”, his heart finally settled.
她长长吐了一口气，感觉整个人都松开了。
She let out a long breath, feeling her whole body loosen.
那块压着他的石头，终于挪走了。
The stone pressing on him was finally gone.
练练：
考试不是今天，他一脸放松地躺在椅子上。
看见朋友安全回来，她才真正安心。
9. 渴望 Longing
她望着人群离开的方向，心也跟着走了过去。
She watched the crowd leave, and her heart followed.
他翻到那张旧照片时，忽然很想回到那个夏天。
When he found that old photo, he suddenly longed to return to that summer.
夜晚一安静下来，她就想起自己真正想要的生活。
Whenever the night grew quiet, she thought of the life she truly wanted.
练练：
想到以后还能再见面，她心里一下子亮了。
看见别人已经走到他想去的地方，他也开始向往了。
怎么用到读后续写里？
冲突刚发生 → 用“恐惧/惊讶”
人物犯错后 → 用“羞愧/失望”
冲突被解决 → 用“轻松”
结尾回望 → 用“自豪/渴望”
这样一写，情节就不是“他说—她说—然后—最后”了，而是“情绪在变化”，这才是高档。
情绪写得准，故事就有温度；情绪写得细，分数才有台阶可以往上爬。别只会“he was afraid / she was happy”这种空壳子了，一眼就被看出来没加工过。把今天这套情绪句子拆开来，一天练两类，写在你自己的续写里，很快你就会发现：同样的情节，你写出来更像“真的发生过”。
添加小助手，领取高分写作资料，自己也能刷出“有故事感”的句子。